Whenever i think about him i can't avoid the exclamation words that he used when he met someone or something unexpectly, Last year when i went to get his bless in his room, it was not much bigger than the room i have in my university which is suitable for two beds, only difference is his room was bathroom attached. On the alter which cover one third of the rooms was placed with pictures of great Lamas and deities. Seven bowls of glass was lined on the edge of the alter to offer water, just near the alter was his bed with a reading table tag with it. he was sitting cross legs on his quite big bed and was reciting some books from Buddhist scripture. I approached him and stretch the Kadak on his reading table than was about to leave when he made one noise like "who are you?" i was not able to hear him properly as he was 94 years old and stammering. I assumed to my supposition and stay there for him to speak further, he asked me again like "who are you?" than i told him my name and he stay for few minutes contemplating on those few words like i gave him a name of a place far away in his memory. Than suddenly he made that funny but sincere exclamation. "Jho Rinpo Kerang Yinpa?" I was like "Nga Yin" but i was not sure who he mean "Kerang". (means YOU in Tibetan Language) Promptly he fingered towards the cushion that is laying on the floor and indicate me to sit with his unclear words. I sat on the cushion which was laying above the grey dragon decorated carpet and curiously watch his next move. Actually i attempted few times to get up and assist him on whatever he wants to do but he reluctantly waved me away and open the door of the cupboard with great difficulty. After few minutes (which seems few hours to me because i was sure it took great effort for him to bend and search things as he is 94 years old! and worst part is he seems like swear to not allowing my assistance.) inspection, took out a plastic bag which was filled with eatable things like biscuits, chocolates and candy, than he picked one vest from the same cupboard and stirred it into the plastic. He gradually passed that to me and said something, But i was not able to understand what he was saying though i was sure it is about the study and personality that he wants me to care and improve. I exit after giving few bows to shown my respect whether he could see it or not! I was in mix emotions after leaving his room, i was happy because he recognized me and i was sad because he gave me something. In the last thirteen years i have seen him circling around the monastery with great devotion and sincerity, in this more than one decade, i could do nothing to him but offering few bows, though i have that strong determination to assist him in whatever way after my graduation and i was optimist that the day will come when i can fulfill this dream. But how i can know this will remain dream,,,
I was with my new sister in Boudha nath who was briefing me about my family in the last more than one decade. I felt like walking on street with head reverse to back side with dim landscape. After hours we had our lunch and they were (she and her husband) determined to keep me night over there. In normal condition, i would happily accept their warm invitation but i have that nerve and anxiety which draw me back to monastery. I try to overpower it but not use, so eventually i made some excuses and went back. On my way i drop at the supermarket where my friend was working after he disrobed, he was not in his usual happy and funny mood, lately he told me that Geshe Kyachok (name of the demise monk who was 95 years old) took his last breath that after noon. I was too shock to utter a word, largely not because he is gone but because few minutes back i have that strong feeling which drew me. He is 95 years old now, for a human being or should i rather say, for a tibetan 95 is not a young age, i heard he was facing difficult to lead daily life because of his old age. And every one was rejoicing his longing.After that i promptly leave for monastery. My arrival was greet with a declaration of congregating religious gathering on his behave, and i attend the TSOK after few years in my own monastery. In fact i am not very fond of attending so, for that i have my own reason, but this time i can't keep myself away from assembly with reason. So did attend the TSOK and was relieved to felt my own inclusion in the hall. My friends were talking about haven seen of rainbows suddenly appear around the monastery and they have photos to prove their proclamation. When i asked about his status, my friends told me that he is in THUN which means post-meditation after death. In Buddhist perception we believe that great yogi and practitioners have that power to control their mind and focus on something even after scientifically they are declare dead, and he possess complete control over the situation of this meditation. We were not sure how many days he will stay on that position. We had same situation few years back who stayed on the similar meditation for more than four days and when he was cremated we found lots of relics which was enough evidence for convince others of Buddhist religious and dharma. On the next day, me with some senior colleagues attended one smaller congregation, also in that day we saw lots of different rainbows shining from here to there and there to here. People said they saw four different rainbows, but at least i saw two of them from the room where his body was kept. I had a good look on his countenance and his looks tempt me of his passed away.
Around 6pm, Our Abbot announced that he had release the post-meditation and he is ready for cremation. though it was raining lightly, we gather around the place where he was to cremate, unlike other monks, he was to cremate in the monastery ground which itself is a great honor. Something more than hundred monks were gather to arrange the stand and all the things, we run here and there to collect cushions, tables, religious clothes, ritual instruments and at the mean time i visit one more time to his room where more than ten people were about to clean him and dress him in special clothe for cremation. Around 8pm, started by Abbot, Supervisor and Geshes, more than 700 monks and nuns gather around the place, plus more than 100 foreigners who are in the monastery for retreat and meditation course. The TSOK last for five hours and it end at 1am in the morning. But all the attendants surprisingly in great form and slightest sign of tired and exhaustion is never to be seen.
I closed my eyes and visualized the moments that i was determined to have with him after my graduation and pray for his rebirth in quick succession. I am happy to inform and heard that we found relics from his ashes! "Jho rinpo kerang khabar yo?"
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