In the galaxy of souls and in the configuration of variety society, everyone, every being choose their own path which is acceptable for them and suitable for their capability though the domination of titling ‘LIFE’ is inevitable to shade them all. Embedded with this universal phenomenon, coherently everyone gives their own rational explanation to life based on the experience they got which are partly organized and partly gifted by the invisible force. Consequently the diversity of characteristics actualized and confirmed. Paced with this reality, we describe what this is and what that is!
I had the same supposition for every topic that related to my surviving, the most touchable and sensible are the things that happened to me. For instance, the last week of January 2010 had curve invincible but unforgettable impact on my life that is hard to forget and forge. In that duration I lost some of the things that I regard as important components for the continuation of breathing. Squeezed between the exhale and inhale of my breath, I damaged my phone at the very first place than my laptop and lastly a relation which was very nice alms of God so far.
If you asked me I must not call it ‘damaged’; actually we purified it, right? But then I think about this purification and it made me sick. Tell me which stuff needs purification? The one which is not correct or perfect? If that is so than I felt sick when I think that our relation needs this purification. Of course I am not blaming on her or her every tiny reaction. But as I wrote in the broken message I sent her, it is me, who is responsible for all that chaos because of my childish thoughts and imaginations. At some place of that situation I consider to snap this relation for all. So I kind of imagine it and you know what? I can’t stand it; I mean I was quite attached to our relation or excessive attachment is exist as she was saying in the message. Result of that assumption, I figured out a second way and that was to keep the academic relationship with her. But if I tell you truth, even then I would not have been happy and peace as you can see it very well from my reaction and complexion in the class! This incident gave me lots of time and thing to think about. Subsequently I find out why I am feeling so and acting so, than most of all, I drilled out the limitation of this relation and boundary of my attachment. Affirmation with certain circumstance, now I am quite sure where I am and where I should be in the future. Currently we returned back to our relation and we are ok now. And I thank God for this remedial as I percept this relation with great veneration.
But if she read it, she must be wondering than why I am still writing about the past? Striving against the advice she gave me which was to forget the past and live for now or future. Well, the purpose of writing this composition is to assured that I was not rotten in my intension and activation at the first place. The other reason for it is to prove that she was not the factor for any of my situations whether it is worth of rejoice or field of disgraceful. When I retrospect over the events, I felt kind of shy, you won’t believe me but it is true. For a man or adulthood, concealment of his inner emotional development at any moment is use as measurement to rate the pulpit of gentleman and dignity. But I lost it; I mean I just expose the actual condition of my heart at the next instant when she told me about the limitation she was supposed to apply in our relation. Such a full of shit is me! But that’s me; I can’t hide any merged impulsion which I prefer to expose in unimaginable acceleration than covered it under any pretension. She really won my heart with her calmness and strength of apprehension. She reacts like nothing is happen and greets me with that innocent smile like she didn’t notice my moody-ugly expression. Really she was so strong, I can’t point out what exactly she felt inside but from her countenance, she was perfect and gentle, just like a perfect model of LADY! Thank you very much for this. She taught me one of the most important lesson in life, how to bear the burden of suppression! If she remembers, I enlist a category of things that she taught me? Now I want her to add this in that list and put it at the very first place.
Anticipation of reciprocation in relation, especially in friendship relation is last thing that is require, so I don’t want her to write about me in the posts that she would publish in her blog, neither I think it is necessary. Because I am quite sure what is she going to write, ‘Thank you’ ‘Thank you’ ‘Thank you and Thank you’! Hehehe ! And other reason is if she write than I would felt like she is compensating for the assist that I try to give her. So don’t embrace the trouble of writing words for me looo. But she can’t withdraw the permission she gave me because of this statement I made now, the permission which was to allow me to write about her.
As I used to say, if we follow our heart with certain investigation, that decision won’t deceive us at any cost, nor you will have the reason to regret for it. Accordingly I respect every decision that she took and I respect it not because merely I am kind of craze about her or kind of pampering her but because I know she follows her heart most of the time. Though I want to remind her, it is your life that you have to lead and finish, neither this society nor any other people will live it for you. At least this is what I believe and till this moment I hardly reverse with my assumption.
I can’t prophecy what will happen in the future, we may remain friends or we may become strangers. Anything happens on this tiny planet! But I just want to make sure that her relation will remain one of the few relations that I will thank to God when I take my last breath.
You step here, and I step there,
They pace now, and we pace later,
No matter what!
The parallel leads to the same destination,
Though we differentiate the imprints.
Yes! Though we,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
So,,,,,,,Let’s live it,
Happily ever and ever again,
Happily!!!
Alas! Start with this new year……………
HAPPY LOSAR-2137
